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Clinger (2015)
Paragon Releasing
Director: Michael Steves
Fern Peterson ( Jennifer Laporte ) is a young highschool girl with aspirations of being scouted by MIT for track running. During practice, she captures the eye of Robert Klingher ( Vincent Martella ), a shy, somewhat nerdy kid, and trips and falls. Robert quickly comes to her rescue and the two lock eyes in your typical “love at first sight” moment that can be found in pretty much every romantic comedy out there. We quickly ease into a nice montage of the two falling in love. All is not well, however, as we can easily see that Fern is growing less and less happy while Robert is becoming more and more clingy.
On Valentine’s Day, Robert decides to make a grand gesture and builds a bizarre guillotine display in his backyard. In a clear set up, right as Robert is professing his love to Fern, she tells him that she doesn’t love him and he slips, falls, and gets his head chopped off. What started as a clean, wholesome tone quickly becomes violent and brings the goods. This moment separates the rest of the film as we now get all of the violence, gore and humor that absent from the first ten minutes.
Having died a violent death, Robert’s spirit is stuck in limbo. Fern and Robert reunite, sort of, and Robert’s overbearing nature causes a rift in the afterlife, same as when he was alive. As the antics heat up and Robert becomes more trouble than he is worth, we are introduced to a host of new characters that bring even more humor. Take Kelsey ( Julia Aks ), Fern’s sister who plays host to a multitude of failed businesses, and Dean ( Paulie Deo Jr. ), Kelsey’s scumbag boyfriend. Together, the two of them get the majority of the best lines. Well, other than Moe Watkins ( Shonna Major ), Fern’s best friend who is a good Christian girl that speaks in sexual innuendo.
The script was written by Gabi Chennisi Duncombe , Bubba Fish , and Michael Steves . Clinger is a smart, funny as hell film that has its fair share of issues. The budget is clearly small and some of the acting is hit and miss, although I think it adds a certain amount of charm to this indie film. The one shining, ever present strength in all of this is how devilishly smart this script is. The jokes are over the top in all the right ways and the plot never goes where you think it will. There are also some genius ideas, like the scene where Fern and Robert lose their virginity together.
The film reminds me of Joe Dante’s work. The perfect balance of comedy and horror with elements of teen angst and growing pain is a rarity and Clinger goes miles above the competition. All of the elements that made Dante’s Gremlins , The ‘Burbs and others so great are all clear and present in this imaginative film about undying love. No one forgets their first and I certainly will not be forgetting Clinger anytime soon.
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